trips to the zoo are no longer rated pg.

two zookeepers went in to clean an enclosure with two white tigers at a new zealand wildlife park today. while inside one of the two white tigers lunged at a keeper mauling him to death, according to cnn

meanwhile...

a group of eight tourists who were on a guided tour of the park witnessed the attack.

that's got to be the saddest feeling if i ever felt one. i mean what else can you really do in a situation like that except watch. i would imagine that you would try to turn away but you would still be slightly intrigued and would have to resume watching even if it's only out of utter disbelief that this is actually happening and sheer curiosity as to how this will all unfold.

summer soundtrack.

these 9 songs are my soundtrack for the summer. this is all that i listen to. all day. everyday. whatever the occasion. there are moments of implusive but fleeting infidelity leaving me only to return remorsivefully. i thought i would share this playlist with you so that you too may have a summer soundtrack to whatever it is that you may find yourself doing.

----

these are instrumentals so there is no need for anyone to feel left out. there is something for everyone. if you are out with that special someone or home alone because you have no one. if you are cruising in your g wagon to a weekend getaway in the hamptons or at the bus stop on the way to your 9-5 as the line cook at red lobster. no explicit or offensive lyrics just instruments so it's fun for the whole family.

enjoy.

no words.

go read a book...

here, let me help you.

it's summer time. so along with it must come summer reading lists. there will be no tests, quizzes, or 3 page book reports to go along with the following but below are a few of the best books that i have ever read. these are at the top of my list not because they are light superficial stories but rather because they each have some deep underlying theme calling into question the accepted realties of today's world. enjoy.

5. of mice and men by john steinbeck

"we could live offa the fatta the lan'."

"s'pose you didn't have nobody. s'pose you couldn't go into the bunk house and play rummy 'cause you was black. how'd you like that? s'pose you had to sit out here an' read books. sure you could play horseshoes till it got dark, but then you got to read books. books ain't no good."

"a guy needs somebody - to be near him. a guy goes nuts if he ain't got nobody. don't make no difference who the guy is, long's he's with you. i tell ya, i tell ya a guy gets too lonely an' he gets sick."

4. 1984 by george orwell

"until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they they have rebelled they cannot become conscious."

"and the people under the sky were also very much the same--everywhere, all over the world, hundreds or thousands of millions of people just like this, people ignorant of one another's existence, held apart by walls of hatred and lies, and yet almost exactly the same--people who had never learned to think but were storing up in their hearts and bellies and muscles the power that would one day overturn the world."

3. the catcher and the rye by jd salinger

"it's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes."

"if a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? nobody."

"it's funny. all you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to. "

"don't ever tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody. "

"when i really worry about something, i don't just fool around. i even have to go to the bathroom when i worry about something. only, i don't go. i'm too worried to go. i don't want to interrupt my worrying to go. "

2. go ask alice

"even now i'm not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things i've gotten from books."

"well, like oil and water, i can't quite adapt or fit."

"i'm partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing. sometimes i think we're all trying to be shadows of each other."

1. a clockwork orange

"what does god want? does god want goodness or the choice of goodness? is a man who chooses the bad perhaps in some way better than a man who has the good imposed upon him?"

"they don't go into the cause of goodness, so why of the other shop? badness is of the self, the one, the you or me on our oddy knockies, and that self is made by old bog or god and is his great pride and radosty. but the not-self cannot have the bad, meaning they of the government and the judges and the schools cannot allow the bad because they cannot allow the self. and is not our modern history, my brothers, the story of brave malenky selves fighting these big machines?"

"the attempt to impose upon man, a creature of growth and capable of sweetness, to ooze juicily at the last round the bearded lips of god, to attempt to impose, i say, laws and conditions appropriate to a mechanical creation, against this i raise my sword-pen."

a friend in need...

is a friend indeed.

chen fuchao threatened to jump off the haizhu bridge in the city of guangzhou, china in a suicide attempt because he was 2 million yuan ($294,000) in debt after a failed construction project, according to cnn.

chen's suicide attempt attracted a crowd that held up traffic for almost 5 hours.

a 66 year old man by the name of lian jiansheng was passing by and offered to talk chen down. after breaking through police lines, "lian greeted chen with a handshake, then pushed him off the bridge."

chen then fell 26 feet(!) onto a partially-inflated emergency air cushion surviving with only injuries to his spine and elbow.

lian later followed with this statement, " i pushed him off because jumpers like chen are very selfish. their action violates a lot of public interest. they do not really dare to kill themselves. instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities attention to their appeals."

hmm.

if i was $294,000 in debt, feigning a suicide attempt to attract attention from individuals with the necessary authority to assist me through my unfortunate circumstance would have almost seemed like a viable option until now. but apparently the fine print reads: "the most common risk associated with this activity is death."

political prisoners.

yesterday cnn reported that the iranian government has blocked access to facebook after presidential candidate, mir hossein mousavi, created a facebook page for his campaign that drew more than 5,000 supporters. reformist candidate mousavi is considered a threat to the current hardline president, mahmoud ahmadinejad. the political action was ordered by the masadiq committee in an obvious effort to protect the upcoming june 12th presidential elections.

yes, because completely blocking access to the world's most popular networking site is the most secure way to convince the iranian people that their current government does not need reform and ensure their full support on june 12. how clever. why didn't we think of that five years ago?

racial profiling.

saw this commerical while at a hotel in d.c.

hmm.

i'm not going to call it racist but i would like to point out that there are racial undertones associated with this virginia car dealer idenitifying its market target.

guessing game.

i fell in love with madvillain after listening to the instrumental for fancy clown. i thought this video for all caps was special. can you guess which four movies these clips are taken from?

hints:
1.) guy ritchie
2.) quentin tarantino
3.) benicio del toro

nothing like this.

if you're not too distracted by the eccentricity of the video. the lyrics are actually quite beautiful.

nothing like this

all i need in, my, life is
there, is, no-thing like this
i never felt, quite, like this
all i need in, my, life is
there, is, no-thing like this
i never felt, quite, like this
all i need in, my, life is
there, is, no-thing like this
ohhhhhhhhhhhh! uh uhh
incomplete when, you're, away
you turn my, nights, into days
you show me, the, light uh-huh
gotta, have, you, right away
i never felt, quite, like this
all i need in, my, life is
there, is, no-thing like this
i never felt, quite, like this
feels good! ohhhhhhhhh
yeahhhhhhhhhhh
you, breathe, life, in-to meeeeeeeeeee
fo' life in, i'm, in, too deep
i'm, ad-dic-ted, uh-huh
something tells, me, you're the one (yeah!)
i never felt, quite, like this
all i need in, my, life is
there, is, no-thing like this
i never felt, quite, like this
all i need in, my, life is
there, is, no-thing like this
i never felt, quite, like this

- j- dilla

you worry about the worry things.

it's funny to watch how people react now when they enounter someone with a persistant cough in a public and enclosed area such as the airport.

relax guys. this cough that i developed was the result of a generous practice of habitual recreational activities during my last week as a college student and is nothing more than evidence that i took full advantage of the opportunities provided to me and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

but then again i'm not going anywhere near a medical facility where i may potentially come into contact with people that may have actually contracted swine flu to find out whether or not i have swine flu.

tough love.

according to abc news, president obama plans to issue the toughest emission and mileage standards in history for new cars sold in the u.s.

as part of the plan, u.s. automakers will have to increase gas mileage from about 25 mpg to about 35.5 mpg and reduce pollution and greenhouse gas emissions by 25% by 2016.

although it was not stated, i'm feeling assured that this means that we will be out of the global recession that we have stumbled into and the insane amount that these newly improved fuel efficient and environmentally sound vehicles are going to cost is not going affect anybody.

and those sourpusses upset by the increase in car prices are going to have their frowns turned upside down after becoming millionaires overnight with all the money that they are going to save at the pump by using the new fuel efficient vehicles. yay.

sounds amazing. everyone is happy. and once again mr. president you have proven yourself and that feeling we felt the first moment we fell in love with you is re-kindled once again.

[pause for cheers].

but wait, these are standards for united states automakers? didn't the u.s. automobile industry file for the largest bankruptcy suit in its history?

oops.

i wonder who's going to have the capacity to make these super-fantastic automobiles of the future? or which individuals who can't afford buy cars now are going to be able to afford to buy even more expensive cars in the future?

hmm.

intellectual property.

according to the new york times, myriad genetics owns the patent on two genes that are closely associated with the increased risk for breast and ovarian cancer and on the testing that measures that risk.

hmmm.

question #1: how can they even do that? seriously, put a patent on a gene?
answer: i have no answer. i'm still in awe.

question #2: what's the justification for such a thing?
answer: "companies like myriad have argued that the patent system promotes innovation by giving companies the temporary monopoly that rewards their substantial investment in research and development." no doubt.

question #3: what are the implications?
answer: well if you're like ms. genae girard, if you are diagnosed with breast cancer, you will be encouraged to take a genetic test to see if your genes put you at an increased risk for ovarian cancer. if your results come back positive and you would like a second opinion from another genetic test, you won't be able to because there is no second test. because yes, myriad genetics owns the patent on those genes and their genetic tests.

words of advice:

stay healthy people because on this diverging road of medicine, technology, and economics, any sort of ailment is money in the bank for them but definitely not a good look for you.

word of the day.

the ajc reported today that proctor & gamble, the makers of bounty paper towels, has filed a federal lawsuit against georgia-pacific, the makers of brawny paper towels. they claim that the newly designed brawny paper towel pattern looks a little bit too much like the design that bounty currently uses for its paper towels.

hmmm.

you know your job sucks when...
you are comparing designs on disposable household cleaning products.

word of the day:

dis-pos-a-ble
(adjective) designed for or capable of being thrown away after being used or used up
(or even as a noun) something disposable after a single use, like um...a paper towel.

the breakdown: those few housewives able to notice the similarities between the two brands only because they are suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder while using your paper towels are going to have to throw them away anyway.

so if this lawsuit does actually make it to court (which it more than likely will for obvious reasons) i would argue that this will be a waste of tax money that neither company is going to absorb.

so being blind is not the only disability that justice has...

she's a little slow too.

cnn reported today that paul house who spent 22 years(!) on death row was released just last year on bail and finally cleared today. house was scheduled to be executed next month for the murder of carolyn muncey in 1985.

hmm.

my suggestion: can we get justice a few classes? maybe take a couple of tests to prove her competency? hold her back until she gets enough problems right to get a passing grade?

justin time.

for mother's day that is. if you thought dick in a box was an outrageous holiday tune check out mother lover from last night's episode of saturday night live with justin timberlake andy samberg.

cotton pickin'.

i was watching the overdramatized next to last episode of this season of grey's anatomy on the tele last night. and then it's a commercial break. and i see this commercial with zooey deschanel singing. i have no idea what it is about right away but i'm loving the photography, the scenes, the shots, the angles, etc. and i'm thinking to myself that this commercial is simply beautiful. and then i hear that familiar tune and those familiar words...."the touch, the feel of cotton. the fabric of our lives."

and there it was. that lead knot of disappointment. [frown].

and i know that it is only a commercial but this is not the first time that the ad agenecy for "cotton" has used deceptive tactics for their campaigns. i never know that i am watching a cotton commercial. but i am empathetic. how many people would deliberately watch a commercial about cotton?

how many pieces of clothing do we actually own that don't contain at least some percentage of cotton in them? cotton is the most widely used natural-fiber cloth so is it even necessary to advertise cotton?

farmers in developing nations are unable to compete with developed countries and consequently have to receive low wages for producing cotton, while the united states is the leading exporter of cotton.

so why am i watching advertisements for cotton?!

today in quotes.

this is no laughing matter. but in a recession rich people are always fun to laugh at.

today wildfire blew across 1,300 acres in santa barbara county, california. 13,500 residents had to evacuate and the fire destroyed about 20 homes, according to cnn. the majority of these homes...coastal mansions.

i mean you really have to feel bad for people who can afford coastal mansions in these economic times and who probably have insane insurance policies on everything they own.

relax cali. this is not the first time you guys have set that state on fire (in more ways than one) and you guys should be used to apocalytic disasters by now.

cnn managed to catch up with today's california victims. and here's what they had to say:

(seriously. these are actual quotes.)

"the fire is moving very, very rapidly. this is an uncontrolled wildfire." said by santa barbara county fire captain david sadecki

not exactly what i would want to hear from my fire captain when there's fire.

"i have hundreds of paintings, so i would just lose everything,"

with people losing everything that they have worked for for the last twenty years in a recession brought about by greed and corruption, i'm sorry to hear that. really i am.

"i'm looking out towards the east, and it's just a big cloud going from the coast all the way to the channel islands" .

where in the world are the channel islands? i bet it's an exclusive rich people place. and only your exclusive rich people friends know what you're talking about.

"the sun is just rising, but it looks a little bit like sunset because the cloud is covering the sun"

how romantic. do you always use that one when picking up dates?

oh manny. you came and you gave without taking.

the mlb suspended the l.a. dodgers outfielder, manny ramirez, today for 50 games for violating its "performance-enhancing drug" program.

along with his suspension, ramirez will now be recognized as the "highest profile baseball player to be suspended for banned substances" according to the new york times.

the irony:

medical tests didn't actually reveal that he had been taking steroids but that he had been taking human chorionic gonadotropin, hcg, which is a fertility drug for women sometimes used by athletes to increase testosterone after steroid use.

the mlb didn't begin suspending players for a positive test until 2004.

barry bonds, mark mcgwire, and alex rodriguez all actually tested positive for steroids but never faced penalties because their alleged steroid use came before 2004.

stings a little doesn't it?

stimulus package.

so i'm sure everyone has heard by now that oprah has teamed up with kfc to give out free chicken for two weeks.

yay.

we're in a recession. times are hard. and apparently people had stopped eating. so thank you oprah for your take on the way a stimulus package should be done.

fool me once.

federal reserve chairman ben bernanke spoke to congress today about the current state of the economy and stated that he felt that the economy "should pull out of the recession and start growing again by the end of this year".

yay.

he later warned that even with economic recovery underway, economic activity is expected to remain slugglish and businesses will continue to hiring sparingly. the nation’s unemployment rate is expected to increase to about 10% causing a considerable amount of job losses.

note: an unemployment rate is never ideal but an ideal or manageable unemployment rate is around 4.5%.

so wait. what?

slow economic activity? decrease in jobs? increase in unemployment?

exactly how are you measuring economic growth, mr. bernake? nothing that followed you saying that you expect to see growth by the end of this year indicates economic growth of any kind.

mr. bernanke, those are last year's numbers.

the only time i would ever watch sports center...

because his responses to sports questions sound a lot like mine. so now i don't feel so bad.

note to self: when asked anything in reference to the nba, or even basketball in general, just say "kobe" or "lebron".

"and i'd rather be pushing flowers than to be in the pen sharing showers."

the class of 2009 will graduate into one of the worse job markets seen in over a generation. the ajc stated yesterday that on campus recruiting has been down 15 to 20 percent nationwide and u.s. businesses which have reportedly had over 1 million job cuts since july plan to hire 22% less than they did last year.

those lucky enough to have actually gotten job offers are expected to get paid 2.2% less than last year.

in even gloomier news: the ajc projects that "the class of 2009 will likely end up at the end of a long line of workers with more experience, giving them a delayed start in their careers".

all your years of experience in journalism and this the word choice you decide on to soften the blow. thanks guys.

now on to the good news...

shouts out the class of 2009. here's an instrumental by brooklyn academy that you can freestyle your frustrations to. enjoy.

fakin.

there have been reports now that people are flooding emergency rooms all over the country with merely a sore throat, cough, or sneeze frantically believing that they have contracted the h1n1 virus, formally known as swine flu (see how you still have to say it anyway).

the problem with this is that those who actually do possess life threatening ailments are hindered from receiving their necessary proper treatment due to the influx of the "worried well".

because a crowded hospital emergency room full of people with all sorts of potentially contagious, life threatening diseases is where i would want to find myself if i wasn't quite sure if i was sick or not yet.

oops.

with every form of media incessantly reporting on the swine flu pandemic it is understandable that the pork industry is now suffering. but here's the gotcha: the disease is actually a combination of human and animal strains and hasn't even been shown to be transmissible by pork. hmmm.

the nation's leading pork companies, smithfield foods inc. and tyson's food inc., who were already suffering, have reported a decline in their stock prices since the outbreak.

to rectify the situation, government health agencies have resolved to now call the disease 2009 h1n1 but it's a little late for that and "2009 h1n1" is a bit of a mouthful and nowhere as near as cool or scary sounding as "swine flu".

thanks again u.s. government for finding new and innovative ways to add further detriment to the already failing u.s. economy.